Still Nervous & Unsure

Good day everyone! I have finished two courses, the Wicca Self Initiation and the Spellcasting 101. I understand everything, and the only thing is, I have severe anxiety surrounding meditation. I can’t settle myself or my mind enough to do it. I have done one guided meditation through the courses, but on my own, I can’t do it. Visualization isn’t a problem & I have meditated before. I zone out a lot in the evening & I visualize things all the time in my mind, deja vu is a real occurrence with me also. I think to go to sleep; I am meditating because I focus on the words Go to sleep and nothing else. I can’t meditate throughout the day. So I feel like anything I do is going to be wrong or rushed, and I don’t know how to overcome this anxiety surrounding meditation and visualization when I need to do it. I have tried throughout the coursework to overcome and work on it. I will keep trying, but any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Blessed Be.

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Have you tried the guided meditations on YouTube? There are oodles over there, for just about anything you could want to meditate on.

This one is good to start out with, it’s how to deal with thoughts during meditation. I did it for like two months straight. That helped me a lot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iH_gqDaEv8&list=PLsyQqqF8JU5qw1UUJJNdKUQuFiCgcJBgc&index=24&t=0s

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Oh thank you! Lately I have tried guided meditation and have gotten through them most of the way. My dogs won’t leave me alone, I did focus on the flame of a white candle and when I closed my eyes I could follow the flame until it got dim & all I saw was black. Then I got interrupted by my dog and someone in the hall.
I bookmarked that video one to try later today!

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It’s totally normal to get anxious, even extremely anxious while meditating.

As the mind relaxes its defenses through meditation, stuff that has been in the unconscious mind enters the conscious mind. If you can sit and just let it happen, then you will eventually become anxiety free. The problem is that it takes time and the things that enter the conscious mind can be really scary, so it’s hard to sit through it.

Exploring your own anxiety can lead you to heart palpitations, intense crying, and more. This is actually a blessing in disguise. It means you became aware of a barrier. This panic is present within you even when you’re not meditating.

Keep meditating and contemplating this obstacle. Watch your anxiety occur. If you can sit through an anxiety attack and observe it arising and eventually going away, you won’t have another.

Other tips:

  • Start with 5 minutes or 10 minutes at most.

  • Keep working with guided meditations. Some useful apps: Calm app, Headspace, Insight Timer.

  • If the anxiety becomes overwhelming, you should switch to concentrating on body sensations (or another object) to calm down.

  • Watch your breath, and when you get distracted, non-judgmentally move your awareness back to your breath.

  • Remove distractions. If your dogs are jumping all over you, you might want to leave them in another room while you are sitting.

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@Francisco I did about 5 minutes this morning with a candle flame and focusing on that when I closed my eyes I could see the red light from the flame and then it eventually faded out. After some time, I tried a guided meditation and I made it about 10 minutes before I couldn’t focus anymore during the Cleansing Breath meditation on this site. So, maybe I’m doing better than I initially thought and my anxiety is making me second guess. I am going to try Headspace, I have Breathly and I have good results with that one too.

I am so appreciative of the help and suggestions from everyone with my newbie questions. I just took a nice cleansing dip in the ocean and then a cleansing shower when I got home. I have a cup of chamomile tea, so I will try meditating again in my space to keep the cleansing going on this lovely Monday!

The dog situation is easier said than done. However, it can be done. They will have to learn that I need time without them sometimes when I am in my room. They don’t need to be circling me or laying on me. I will be fine. Lol

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For me it’s usually easier to meditate when tired, presumably because the mental defenses are less pronounced… otherwise I tend to start focusing too much on the emptiness and feel like I’m falling in, which I accept, but I start getting a headache at that point… sometimes I catch myself scrunching my eyes closed which probably contributes to the headache… it feels like a mental block… does this sound like a familiar experience? Same thing happens with headspace visualization and hypnotic suggestion recordings too

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Headaches are normal while meditating too! A common cause is a clenched jaw and/or a tensed back. Check those.

Also experiment by focusing your gaze in different places. Sometimes even with eyes closed you may be focusing them as if trying to read something really close. This can create stress and pressure in your head.

It could also be that you’re not relaxing or you might be trying too hard, causing tension in your body. Find a relaxing guided meditation and see if that improves it.

Also, seated meditations are just one way of practicing a state of mindfulness. Try meditating while walking or while doing something like rearranging objects on the floor.

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Sometimes we “identify” with the anxiety so much that it totally paralizes us. The more you reinforce that idea “I have anxiety”, the harder it will be to overcome it.

But it seems that you’re doing better! Keep going with your practice! You will become better at noticing your anxiety in the moment, pausing, and preventing it from taking over.

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Rearranging objects is a new one for me, I’ll have to try that! Or having an object in my hands to get sensory feedback from, crystals feel like they’d be perfect for that and could also have a matching magical correspondence and/or intention! :blush:

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@CelestiaMoon I think maybe in time I will try holding crystals for their energies. I wear them regularly & have them in my space & on my altar space too.

@Francisco I did download headspace & I know when I lay down to sleep I shut my mind off from intruding thoughts by bringing myself back to the breathing & focus on “Go to sleep”. I’m going to work some more on it when I wake after I say the Coffee Consecration and Daily Blessing. I’m making a section for my Daily practice and I’m going to work on the meditation each morning before my kids get me going in 10 directions.

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Just a thought from a witch who has the same problem. The way I see it, is that meditation is a learned skill. My mind always wanders. I look at least three tabs at a time. This is a product of our age. I plan on devoting at least 15 minutes a day to meditate. There is a class in Spell8 that takes you on the steps you need to evolve into a person who can meditate. I must make this a priority as well. You are not alone. This takes effort.

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It sounds like you have already come a long way in a short time, @Susurrus! :blush: With what you have learned with your lovely shower meditation ritual and other meditations- be proud of what you have accomplished and yes, stick with it! :raised_hands: Your meditation practice will continue to develop and become more comfortable. I’m wishing you all the best of luck with your meditations, and sending everyone who is working on this great practice lots of love and support! :woman_in_lotus_position::sparkling_heart:

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@BryWisteria I feel like I am doing much better. I have been using Headspace each day in the morning and then whenever I need to throughout the day. I meditate at night to fall asleep and it’s getting easier each day to quiet my mind and body enough to enjoy it.

I appreciate everyone’s love and support through the development of my journey! Thank you so much!

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That’s so wonderful to hear- virtual high fives for you, @Susurrus! :raised_hands::two_hearts: Congrats that your meditation practice is coming along so nicely and that it is beginning to feel more natural. Stick with it, you’re doing great! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I am so happy for you! :hugs:
Congratulations!!!:confetti_ball:
How do you feel about completing all the classes?

How long did it take? I feel like it’s taking me longer! Awsome work!!
Jeannie

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It took me a little bit, I tried to do one class per day but then I didn’t donthe initiation until I had what I wanted to be a part of it & I felt ready. I hopenthey go easy for you too!

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